Be a tree that still stands.
I spent some time thinking about this idea this morning. And as I sat in silence, I recalled a quote that I heard recently.
“Resistance is directly proportional to love. If you’re feeling massive resistance, the good news is that it means there’s tremendous love there, too.” (Steven Pressfield)
Have you noticed that every time you start to make positive changes, things often seem to go terribly wrong? You know what that means? Keep doing what you’re doing - you’re on the right path.
I am profoundly aware of this truth - today especially. There are a lot of things I could use some guidance on right now - taking care of one of my kids, especially. Last night I wrote down that my goal for this week is to get on my knees with a prayer every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to bed. Prayer is hard for me. Not because I don’t believe in the power of it, I do. But, when I kneel down and try to pray out loud, it’s just so awkward and all I can think about is how uncomfortable I am and how I hate the sound of my own voice and I hope no one is eavesdropping on me because I’m getting raw and real in here. <—for real, this is where my mind wanders. I am much better about the whole prayer in my heart or head deal.
Anyway, back to my goal for the week. I started strong this morning! My alarm went off and my knees hit the ground. Then I moved to the table for my morning scripture study and journal writing. Then I moved to the kitchen to pack lunches. Then I went upstairs and woke up my 8 year old (and we even prepped last night and laid our her clothes for the week). I was feeling so on my game! And then 20 minutes had passed and I realized the 8 year old hadn’t come downstairs yet. So, I climbed back up and as I opened her bedroom door, I realized she was still in bed. I pulled her out of bed (like, quite literally grabbed her by the ankle and let her feet drop to the ground) and told her a little more forcefully to get ready. Five minutes later (aka the time we need to leave), she still was just standing in place but by this point had added some tears. And in that moment, I knew I was being tested on my will to stay patient and calm. And you know what happened? Umm, I failed miserably. Wanna know what else happened? I had to get that child ready for school, carry her to the car and then watch her NOT get out of the car at school so we drove back home with both of us sobbing.
You see, this particular child has some anxiety disorder issues that are extremely draining on me. Because when she shuts down, there is not a darn thing I can do to get her out of it. Nothing - except wait.
So, after my morning of doing some really good things that I was certain would start my day off on just the right note, I was blessed with something else. A good lesson in learning to recognize when I am reacting in frustration instead of acting in love. But, you know what? I am happy that I am able to see this whole experience for what it was…resistance to me trying to continue on a path I know I’m being led on.
Don’t let it win. If you’re feeling push back, keep going…something really good is about to happen.
Where in your life area you feeling the resistance?